Freaks, Geeks, & Vigilantes
by BatmanNerd0399
Summary: Dr. Hugo Strange has taken over Arkham and, with the helping hands of Johnathan Crane, aka Scarecrow, and Bane, a chaos incarnate, he intends to make both Bruce and Batman's life a living hell. But with the help of a old friend and an unlikely ally, can Bruce beat this deranged doctor and come out a better man? Batman/Joker slash. Metions of Joker/Crane, Joker/OC, and Batman/Talia.
1. It's Time

_A/N:_

Me- Hi everyone! This is my first Batman Fanfic so-

Joker- Kiss ass.

Me- Joker, I told you I'll call for you. You're supposed to be at Arkham!

Joker- And you're supposed to be doing homework.

Me- Fuck you.

Batman- Watch your mouth.

Me- _Oh my God_, just read the story already!

Joker- Let's dance, Batsy!

(Joker and Batman start fighting in the background.)

Me- Also, favorite and I will most likely write more!

Batman- Joker, what are you doing?!

Joker- Oh, just loosening up your belt for later. *winks*

Batman- JOKER!  
Me- *grabs video camera* Later!

* * *

_Joker- New Imput_

_Encounter #215_

_I landed atop of the GCPD building, expecting Gordon but found the Joker waiting for me. He greeted me with a bow and turned off the Batsignal. After asking him why he was here he stared at me, a smile growing on his lips. He then replied with, "Let's dance."_

_Proceeding to pull out a knife, Joker laughed wildly and swung at me. His talent with knives has repeatedly surprised me, getting so close as to slice my shoulder. As a reaction, threw a batarang at him, knocking the blade out of his hands. Thereafter I tackled him to the ground, straddling his body and pinning his arms. Joker grinded into me, a masochistic trait I've begun to notice, distracting me. _

_That is by surprising me. He distracted me by surprising me._

_He then landed a backfist to a weaker part of my mask, disorienting me. _

_Batcomputer- Note; Contact Lucuis about the weak spot in my cowl._

_Joker- Resume_

_When I was back on my feet he was flying away in a helicopter with Harley Quinn. I have only encountered her twice, but she is dangerous, and surprisingly the Joker has kept her alive for over three weeks. The common limit for henchmen is a week and a half. She also seems to have a sexual obsession with the clown. The closest thing to love a person like them can get._

_Joker- End Imput_

A ding from the large computer in front of him echoed through the bunker, just as Alfred came over with a clean T-shirt and some sweatpants. Bruce exited out of the main files to the live news stream, taking off his cowl.

"Back from a long night of crime fighting, I see." The British man addressed, setting down the clothes on a chair. He noticed the dried blood on the outside of the billionaire's torn suit, sighing inwardly and grabbing the first aid kit.

"Alfred, I'm fine. Just a scratch." He began to peel off the ruined armor, only to feel the sting of rubbing alcohol. The liquid set his skin on fire but he only let out a ragged breath. After rubbing off the blood, Alfred looked a bit closer at the wound.

"I guess it was just a scratch. My condolences, sir." Bruce let out a muffled laugh, grabbing the clothes from the other chair and putting them on. The sound of ruffled fabric made him think back to his recent fight with the Clown Prince of Crime. Both him and Alfred were ready to leave when a quiet ding gained a questioning look from both men. Turning to look at one of the many computer screens, they noticed a message box had popped up.

_**Don't leave yet.**_

"Sir, who is that?" The butler asked, walking over to his master, equally alarmed. Bruce sat back down in his chair and began to run security checks, starting with the firewall. It was up and running fine. Another ding.

_**I bypassed the main fram, then programmed it to recognize me as a user, not a threat. You've got good security. Took me two weeks to get in.**_

The men looked at each other, worried. This programing was supposed to be uncrackable. The CIA tried to hack the system once, and they couldn't get through it after months of trying. Another ding from the computer echoed through the room, the screen showing a sad face.

_**I'm not very patient Bruce. You really should talk to me.**_

"Alfred, go back to the pent house. I'll be up in a bit." Bruce lightly commanded, beginning to type. The older man scoffed, looking at Bruce incredulously.

"Pardon me for saying this, but I'm going to stay down here until we find out who this person is and-"

"Please Alfred." He said with a bit more force. Alfred looked at the screen for a second more, then reluctantly left. Bruce could tell this would start an argument later but ignored it. Protecting Batman was all he cared about now. He began to type.

_Who are you? _

The infamous playboy waited, fingers on his temple. So many questions where racing through his mind. How could this happen? How could **he** _let_ this happen? Would this be the end of Batman? A ringtone on the computer brought him out of his snowball of worries. It was... a video call? _No time for talking, _Bruce thought and declined the call, not even looking to see who it was. Whoever this is was taking a long time to answer. Another video call chimed in, its soothing melody becoming quite annoying. He was about to decline it again when a message popped up.

_**Answer it if you want to know who I am, Bats.**_

Bruce paused and looked at the name of the caller, Ace of Hearts. He couldn't place it but that name set off a spark of familiarity in his head. Maybe he knew this person. Slowly, the billionaire moved the mouse over to the call. He hesitated before he picked up, deciding to tape the conversation for evidence. If he didn't know who it was, he could use facial recongnition to find out. Finally, he hit accept. The memory of a lost friend filled his mind as the hacker was shown. He recognized her face all to well.

"Hey, Bruce. Long time no see."

* * *

"Mistah J! Mistah J!" Harley called out from the mess hall. Using a broken down jail as a hide out had many perks, and a kitchen was one of them. Joker growled from the guard lookout and set down his pencil. Joker may not plan but it doe help to write down some words for his next scheme.

"What, Harley?! I'm trying to concentrate!" He yelled, slamming his fist on the table. He was going to hold Gotham High hostage, as tonight is their prom. He doesn't remember his prom, so he decided to steal this one. It would defiantly get Batsy's attention.

"I'm sorry puddin'," She pouted, her Boston accent as prominent as ever, "But I found a package outside the entrance." Joker's eyes almost popped out of his skull.

_"What?!"_ He yelled, furious. Walking over to Harley he noticed there was, in fact, a small box wrapped in home-made smiley face paper. He snatched the box from her, giving it a quick look over for any tricks that would end in death or severe pain. Joker may be a bit of a masochist, but even he has a breaking point. Although he might not say so, he still had a bit of humanity left.

Too light to be a bomb, he's sent a couple to some mobsters. Too small to be a rabid animal too (What? He's done that before too). Slowly, Joker unwrapped the package, being careful not to pull and wires attached to a grenade or something. Once he got down to the box, the anticipation was killing him. The clown ripped open the box, tearing it to shreds. But when he saw what was inside, his heart sank.

"Puddin'? Are you okay?" Harley asked hesitantly, peeking over his shoulder and into the box. There was not many things that could scare Joker, and all that does should be taken deathly serious. All she saw was a purple and green key and a silver butterfly knife.

"Harley, dear." Joker addressed slowly, licking his lips. "Grab my coat, I need to go meet an old, ah, _friend_." After she had scurried away, Joker picked up the knife, carefully, and opened it. He hoped he would never have to see this again.

As soon as Harley was within arms reach, Joker was heading out the door, putting on his coat in the process. The mysterious key was safely inside his pocket, clanking with several grenade pins he'd collected over the years. He was doing tricks with the blade and opening the front door when Harley called out.

"What's happening?" She frowned, messing with her ruined blonde hair. The random henchmen they lived with began to circle around her, noticing in their brainless trance that their leader was leaving. Joker didn't even look back.

He pulled out his cell phone once outside, dialing a number he memorized just for this occasion.

"Yes, Ozzy. It's time. Where's Avis?"


	2. You Remember Joker, Right?

Music filled the air, bouncing around the large room and around the other parts of the warehouse. In the middle of it all was a woman dancing franticly, though beautifully, around the tables and chairs. Her mind was far away from the guns and swords and knives she's been cleaning for hours. Her short black hair swung around her, the streak of lightning blue shimmering in her dim storage lights. Yes, she was far away, not even hearing the sound of a speeding semi heading straight for the warehouse wall she had her stereo on. It was just her and the music.

BAM!

Avis was brought out of her music trance in the blink of an eye, showered with bits and pieces of concrete and metal. She automatically ducked, as most would, covering her head with one hand and grabbing her ankle gun with another. As soon as the dust began to settle, Avis shot up and aimed for the man stumbling out of the totaled truck. The only thing that kept her from pulling that trigger right away was the purple trench coat and the smell of death in the air.

"Joker?!" She called out, lowering her gun. "You could have ruined my gear! I'm not fucking Bruce Wayne ya know!" Joker coughed and leaned on the ruble of a near by table.

"Sorry, Acey, but I found this in the mail." He threw her the blade, while Avis was picking up her katana sword. None the less, she still caught it mid-air. Looking down at it, she smiled, and held the butterfly knife fondly.

"I remember the day you named me that." She stated, showing the ace of hearts to her greasepaint-covered friend. "It was also the day you told me you were going to Gotham." She tucked the card into his vest, her hand lingering on his chest. Joker smiled while Avis sighed, knowing what was about to happen.

In a flash, Joker had her arm twisted unpleasantly behind her, making her now able to touch the base of her skull. Avis grunted as she adjusted to the flare of pain from her arm. She blew the hair out of her eyes and smiled, feeling the adrenaline kick in.

"You know, I really thought that we were past this whole 'not touching you' thing." Avis painted, stomping on her old friend's foot and elbowing him in the solar plexus. With the wind now knocked out of him, Joker wheezed for a minute, giving Avis the upper hand. "We did date for, what, four-five months? Not to mention we grew up together."

"Yes, yes, and true, but you know me. Insane and all." Joker bantered, throwing a lazy grin her way. The gun in his hand was loaded and pointed at his ex, and is not surprised to find a similar pistol in his face, also loaded. As if trained both shot, but at the last possible second moved the barrels over to the buildings' ceiling.

Large metal pieces came crashing down beside them nether one of them doing so much as blinking at the impending danger and loud erupting noise. In fact, they relished in the fear of death, embraced it. If you looked closely, you could see them closing their eyes for a spilt second and smiling big, ugly grins.

"We've got a lot to talk about." Avis declared, opening her laptop, which showed various pictures of The Scarecrow, who recently broke out, a terrorist called Bane, and an unknown guy in a doctors' coat. Joker nodded and set down his gun.

"Let's get down to business."

* * *

Batman jumped across rooftops, reveling in the cold night air. An ache on his jaw line sent pain through his being, delighting him in the most horrible way. Alfred had been on his ass about the mystery caller, who it was and how they knew about Batman. But Bruce just played it off, smiled and then went to bed. The truth was, he knew all about the caller. Avis Cordova, an old classmate from his forensic psychology class at Cambridge University. They had a lot in common.

The Bat signal lit up the night sky like a torch in a dark cave. Only, it wasn't coming from atop of the GCPD building. It was crudely drawn, one side longer than the other and barely looked like a bat at all. But the Dark Knight still glided through the air, finally arriving at the light's origin, a warehouse in the Narrows.

It looked in fairly good shape, as if only recently abandoned, except for the gaping hole on the far east side. A totaled truck lay wasted in the parking lot, it's front almost flattened up to the windshield. Whoever was in the driver's seat was most certainly killed, if not seriously maimed.

"Bats, come in!" A woman called from behind him, walking out of the new entrance to greet him. Bruce cursed himself for not being more vigilant with his surroundings. In fact, ever sense his last battle with Joker his mind has been in the gutter. He just can't get that damn clown out of his head...

Avis had her hair up in a clip with a small strain of blue dangling by her cheek. The combat boots she was wearing echoed in the silence, along with the swooshing of her blue jeans and the soft whoosh of the wind. She had more scars than he remembered, with an 'x' shaped one below her right eye and several on her upper arms, exposed by her black T-shirt.

Batman slowly walked in to find a living area with couches and desks. Tech equipment, cards, and Chinese take-out containers were scattered around them, along with some blankets and pillows. Over in the far left he could see guns and swords of all kind.

"Sit, sit! We have much to discuss." Avis offered, "Hell, have some General Tso's chicken for all I care. I can tell you're hungry." Grabbing her drink, she took a long, loud slurp. It's funny how she can look so beautiful but eat so ugly. "Just don't touch the egg drop soup. That's mine."

"I think I'd rather not." Bruce answered, still looking around. There should be another person here, by the amount of food. An eerie wind blew through the place, making the chains above them clink together. A soft breath behind him told him what he needed to know. They were not alone.

"Sorry Batsy, she's still new to town. Doesn't know how you roll yet." That voice. He could hear a chilling laugh, one that almost made him shiver, and heard a whisper in his ear. "Turn and see your new partner, darling."

Bruce turned around as fast as he could, his cape whirling around him as he threw a blind punch. Unsurprisingly, his fist hit air, the man disappearing before the punch was even swung. Slowly, the painted man came out from the darker part of the warehouse and took a bow. Batman's worst nightmare come to life. Him.

"You remember Joker, right?"

* * *

"Do you have what I asked for Dr. Crane?" The man asked, his Russian accent lacing all his words. The mask was very distracting but he must say, it does add a bit of mystery.

"Do you have what I asked for?" Scarecrow asked, tapping on the table impatiently. The man smiled and picked up a large briefcase beside him. He quickly undid the clasps holding it together and slid the case over to the masked man.

"Seventy-five thousand dollars in cash. Half now, half when the job is over." The other spoke, picking up another briefcase. The scrawny man across from him smiled under his mask, and shut the case.

"Dr. Strange, I believe we have a deal."

"Excellent. You'll meet your partner tomorrow."

* * *

Edit: 7/20/13

_A/N:_

Me- I'm baaaaaaack! Hi everyone. I'm sorry I haven't uploaded lately but I've been going through some writer's block.

Joker- A couple shots will clear that right up!

Me- I'm fourteen, Joker. I can't drink yet.

Joker- I wasn't talking about _those_ kind of shots but they work too.

Me- *sighs* Anyway, I have an idea about where I'm going with this but I'm still stuck. I want to thank those people (however small) that are following my story. When I saw that I almost cried. Literally. It means a lot. But I would like some reviews too, it gives me ideas, tells me what you like and what I need to improve, all that fun stuff.

Joker- I'll give you a review: You suck.

Batman- I think she writes beautifully.

Me- Thanks, Bats. Anyway, thanks for the follows, please review, and have an awesome day.

Avis- Favorite too, you jackasses!

Me- Avis!

Avis- Yes, I'm apart of this little group now too. My part in this story will be explained soon enough but for now, you have to deal with it.

Joker- *whispering to me and Batman* Why can't you two be cool like her?

Avis- So until this, *points to me* geek gets her head out of her ass-

Me- Hey!

Avis- You're just going to have to wait for this awesome story to continue. Until that happens stay crazy, be lazy, and love Batman and Joker. Cue the fireworks!

*firecrackers start exploding in my room*

Mom and Dad- Arabelle!

Joker, Batman, Avis, and Me- Shit.


End file.
